Are you a C or C++ programmer? Are you envious that other languages keep hogging the limelight when it comes to supply chain attacks?

If you answered “yes” to both questions, I bring you revolutionary new technology — remote, on-demand includes in GCC and clang:

#include <https://lcamtuf.coredump.cx/leftpad.h> int main() { char* x = leftpad("Hello world!", 16); printf("[%s]

", x); }

To use this exciting functionality, simply download the official remote_includes.tgz package from my website, compile it with ./build.sh, and then start compiling programs with:

LD_PRELOAD=./remote_includes.so gcc demo_program.c

…or:

LD_PRELOAD=./remote_includes.so clang demo_program.c

Of course, this technology is protected by military-grade encryption, as signified by the following symbol: ????.

Thank you and God bless!

PS. Don’t use this.

PPS. If you do, you will die, and it will hurt the whole time you’re dying.