In 2018, my dad told me he was planning to open a plant shop and asked if I wanted to help, since he was still working his full time job and would not have the time to manage the shop.

Now, my dad LOVES plants. The house is filled with them and he comes home everyday after work to care and check in with them. He's extremely knowledgeable about them too and could tell if a plant was sick and how to treat it without ever having gone to school for it. He told me he really wanted to try it and hoped he could make something out of it. At this point, I had just gotten discharged from the military and wasn't doing much, plus it was rare that he would ask for my help so I said sure.

Within a week or two, we opened the shop. We planned the prices, the stocks, he taught me the basics of how to take care of various plants, how to make terrariums to sell, and everything else I needed to know to run the shop when he wasn't around. We sold succulents, various flowers, bonsai, seeds, anything we thought looked fun and interesting. He sourced all of that himself. He came by everyday when he had a break from work and even offered delivery services to customers.

Unfortunately, the shop didn't last long. The rent was expensive and foot traffic was low, so he was essentially bleeding money. Didn't help that he insisted on paying me a full living wage either. Eventually I couldn't bear to see him work so hard and lose so much money and told him I didn't want to do it anymore. The shop then closed and that was that.

I've always felt bad about how it ended, and regretted how I didn't stick it out longer with this thing he worked so hard for and loved. l decided that once I made enough money in the future I would help him restart this business.

Cut to a few days ago, I casually asked my mom if my dad ever mentioned anything about starting the business again since he was so into it. She was confused at first, then told me the truth: he didn't start the business because he wanted to, he just wanted me to have something to keep me busy.

I didn't mention why I was discharged from the military earlier, it was because I had attempted suicide after a severe bout of depression. He came up with the business idea while visiting me at the psych ward, after I mentioned how doing nothing all day makes me feel worse. He heard this little comment of mine and just.. went for it. He knew he was going to lose money, but did it anyway. We're not rich by any means, and he used his savings to do this.

My mom wasn't supposed to tell me any of this. He knew that if he had told me the truth in the beginning I would have said no because it was too much trouble, and if I found out now I would just feel bad. As long as it was something that helped me, he was okay with things as is.

I don't know what I'm feeling about this. Like most asian dads and sons, we've never really been affectionate with one another, not with words at least. He's always been more of a silent supporter type, showing up to every achievement and struggle I had. He never said that he cared, but visited me multiple times a day everyday when I was at the psych ward. I want to thank him, but he would be uncomfortable. I want to say I love him, but he would do the boomer equivalent of cringing. I do plan to thank him at some point, but I'm also feeling uncomfortable because that's just not how we do things.

In the meantime though, thank you dad. I love you.

Edit: I was not expecting this to get so many comments! I posted this last night (in my time zone) and went to bed and woke up overwhelmed by all the responses. Thank you all for your love for my dad, he truly deserves all the love in the world and more. I'm sorry I can't get to reply all your comments but your love and suggestions are felt and heard!

I will thank him, but as many suggested, I will do it in actions. I love the idea of taking him to the botanical garden in my country (thank you to the one who suggested it), and am making plans! I would like to do more (idk if it will ever feel enough haha), so I'm looking into getting more plants and equipment for him. My mom will not be happy at more plant things taking up space but she'll understand. I will also try my best to live a good and happy life as that's important to him as well, as some of you pointed out.

Speaking of, thank you to the people who wished me well too! I am doing much better than I did in 2017-2018. My dad was definitely one of the biggest reasons that made me keep going, seeing him show up multiple times a day when I was at the psych ward really affected me, knowing how much he cared. I am currently getting a degree in counselling too!

Thank you all again, I hope you're doing well, and remember to give some love to the people around you, however that may be. <3