I recently came across this map of Europe in a Discord memes channel:

At first glance, it didn’t seem to be anything special, but why was it posted in a memes channel? I took a closer look. Even if you’re not super familiar with European geography, you’ll probably find something… off about it. Or many things.

After finding a lot of discrepancies from my own memory of European maps, I decided to try to catalog every single problem with the map and found way more issues than I expected. I think it’s very likely I missed some things as well, so please email me if you find more issues. I’ll update the list and give you credit (or keep it anonymous if you’d prefer).

To make it a little easier to see where each issue is, I’ve marked the map according to the grid made by the solid latitude and longitude lines:

(Pardon the low quality, the original I saw was already riddled with JPEG artifacts.)

The “solution”

A1

“Muktuk” is not a city in Greenland

Svalbard is a real place, but it’s directly north of Norway (and much farther north). The island marked as Svalbard is called Jan Mayen

Iceland is rotated 180 degrees

“Faroe Islands (ICELAND)” don’t exist

The arctic circle doesn’t pass through Iceland (though this may be a consequence of the rotation)

Reykjavík is in the wrong place on the island anyway

The capital of the Faroe Islands is Tórshavn - it’s correct on the fake islands, but wrong on the real ones

Havntors isn’t a real place

The “Sheltie islands” are actually called Shetland or the Shetland islands

A2

Glasgow, Edinburgh, Manchester, Liverpool, London, Belfast, and Oxford are all in the wrong place (Aberdeen and Mousehole are the only correctly placed and named cities in the UK)

Laphroaig is not a city in the UK (although it is correctly placed)

Leeds is misspelled as Leads (although it would be in the right place)

There is no city named Gerrard

Neville is a city in France, but not the UK

Bringmeham, UK doesn’t exist (probably an intentional misspelling of Birmingham)

Wales is a country in the UK, not a city (though it’s in roughly the right place)

The island marked “York (U.K.)” is actually called Guernsey

Belfast, UK is listed as “Belslow”

Ireland is called South Ireland instead of just Ireland (a reference to the country in the UK called “North Ireland”)

Dublin, Ireland is listed as “Belfast”

Duplo, Ireland doesn’t exist (and Dublin should be marked as the capital)

There’s no “Goscinny” in northwestern France

Nantes, France is called “Fernantes”

The Canary Islands are off the coast of Africa, not northwest of Spain

The capital of the Canary Islands is called “Santa Cruz de Tenerife”, and is abbreviated as “Santa Cruz”, not “Tenerife”

Catalonia is not an independent country. The part marked as Catalonia is roughly in the location of Basque Country, an autonomous region of Spain

Sevilla is in the wrong place

A3

Lisbon should be where “Madrid” is marked in Portugal

Madrid should be in central Spain

Málaga is northwest of where it should be

Valencia is farther south than it should be (it should be roughly where “Lisbon” is marked)

Zaragoza is in northeast Spain, not on the southern coast

Melilla and Ceuta are swapped (and Ceuta might be misspelled as Ceula)

The sea between Spain and Morocco is called the Alboran Sea, not the Alderaan Sea

Rabat looks too far north (although that could be a projection problem)

Casablanca is part of Morocco, not France

B1

The country marked as Finland is actually Norway

The country marked as Norway is actually Sweden

Stockholm is the capital of Sweden and should be where Oslo is marked (in B2), not in the north

Tromsø is a region of Norway, not a city

Trondheim looks like it’s marked too far northeast

“Vikingfjord” and “Smalahove” aren’t cities

“Surströmming” is the name of a food, not a city in Sweden

“Gävlebocken” placed where “Gävle” should be.

B2

“Bokmål” and “Nynorsk” aren’t cities

Oslo is in Norway, not Sweden. On this map, it should be placed where Bokmål is, and is placed where Stockholm, Sweden should be

Göteborg should be farther north on the coast

Malmö should be farther south on the coast

Gotland should be smaller

Sweden’s borders should extend to the end of the peninsula

Copenhagen should be on one of the islands of Denmark, not on the Swedish peninsula

Copenhagen should be marked as the capital of Denmark, not Legoland (which isn’t a city, obviously)

“Sübeckißa” doesn’t exist

Hamburg isn’t the capital of Germany

Berlin is the capital of Germany

Öde doesn’t exist

Essen is north of Bonn

Frankfurt is short for “Frankfurt am Main”, not “Frankfurt am Alt”

Swabia is a region of Germany, not a city

Strasbourg is in France; it should be just over the border of where it is on this map

Rotterdam and Amsterdam have their locations swapped

Luxembourg is much bigger than it should be

Rijsel is the Dutch name for Lille, France (not that this is “wrong”, it’s just not the primary name for the city)

Beaujolais is a region of France, not a city

Toulouse is listed as Tolose (possibly an alternate spelling, or another language’s name for the city)

“Marsupial” isn’t a city

Oliwa, Poland is listed under its Latin name, Oliva

Wrocław, Poland is listed under its German name, Breslau

Slovakia and Czechia have their shapes and locations swapped (this also changes the borders of the surrounding countries)

Bratislava and Prague (the capitals of Slovakia and Czechia) are in the right places within their borders, but are obviously in the wrong absolute locations

“Žinčica” is not a city

“Mrs” is not a city

Slovenia doesn’t border Germany, Slovakia, Czechia, and Austria; it should be farther south, bordering Italy, Austria, Hungary, and Croatia

The capital of Slovenia is Ljubljana, but it obviously shouldn’t be where it is due to the switch listed above

Austria is listed as “Australia”

Zürich, Switzerland and Bern, Switzerland have their locations switched, roughly

Zürich isn’t the capital of Switzerland, Geneva is…

Geneva, Switzerland is switched with Genoa, Italy (which is an Italian city with which it shares etymology)

There’s a fictional country called “Molvania” where Slovenia should be

Florence, Italy is where Milan should be

Turin, Italy is listed as “Turambar”

Florence, Italy is listed as “Alighieri”

Rome (and Vatican City) is farther south on the coast than it should be, occupying roughly the spot of Naples

The names of the islands Corsica and Sardinia are swapped

“Casu Marzu” isn’t a city

Andorra is much larger than it should be, cutting into Spain significantly

Bosnia and Herzegovina is listed as “Serbia and Montenegro” which are independent neighboring countries

Zagreb, Croatia is listed as Agranum (its Latin name)

Hrvatska is the name of Croatia in Croatian, not a city in Croatia

Montenegro is missing (see C2 for more)

Tirana, Albania is listed as “Ilirmeta”

Shqip is the name of Albanian in Albanian, not a city in Albania

B3

Cagliari and Palermo, Italy, are swapped

The Balearic Islands are listed as “Illes Allears” instead of “Illes Balears”

Cordily (an island in the Mediterranean) doesn’t exist

The second number in the scale is 100x what it should be (comparison)

The numbers for the parallels are probably wrong too

I don’t think the projection is actually the Gall-Peters Orthographic Projection

Algeria isn’t as wide as it should be, bringing Tunisia farther west than it should be

The capital of Tunisia is marked as “Carthago”, when it should be Tunis

Malta is missing (see C3)

C1

Volgograd should be west of Ukraine, outside the scope of this map (it possibly should be listed as Murmansk)

Oulu, Tampere, and Turku are listed by their Swedish names (Uleåborg, Tammerfors, and Åbo, respectively)

Tampere and Turku (Tammerfors and Åbo) have their locations swapped

Lulea and Umea, Sweden are switched

“Koskenkorva” is not a city

Leningrad is the former name of St. Petersburg, not a city to its northwest

C2

“Viru Valge” is not a city

Lithuania is expanded to take over Latvia as well

Kaliningrad is listed as Latvia instead

Because of the above, Riga, Latvia is placed within Kaliningrad

Putingrad doesn’t exist

The Gray Sea doesn’t exist

Kaliningrad, Russia should be between Poland and Lithuania, not within Russia’s main borders (see above)

Most of Belarus is eaten by Russia

Smolensk, Belarus is farther south than it should be (it would be within Belarus’s borders on this map)

Vitebsk, Belarus is farther south than it should be, keeping it within Belarus

Hrodna, Belarus is listed under its Polish name, Grodno

Minsk, Belarus is farther southwest than it should be

Crimea is a peninsula on the south side of Ukraine (which has been occupied by Russian invaders since 2014), not a country to the north of Ukraine

Tatar is not a city in the fake Crimea on this map. The Tatars are a Turkic ethnic group of which a significant population lives in the real Crimea

“Salo” is not a city

Rivne and Mykolaiv, Ukraine are listed under their former Russian names (Rovno and Nikolaev, respectively)

Kadstbei doesn’t exist

Moldova’s borders stretch to the Black Sea, cutting into Ukraine

Cluj-Napoca, Romania is listed under its Hungarian name (Kolozsvár)

Magyarország is the name of Hungary in Hungarian, not a city in Hungary

Serbia is listed as “Bosnia and Herzegovina” (see B2 for more)

Kosovo isn’t shown (perhaps due to its incomplete recognition by other countries)

Belgrade, Serbia is listed as “Belcurve”

Bulgaria’s borders cut north along the Black Sea into Romania’s, making it landlocked

Varna, Bulgaria is listed as “Sofia” which is the capital–so Sofia should be marked as the capital, but not where it is

Sofia, Bulgaria is instead marked as “Serdica”

Macedonia extends southeast, cutting into Greece significantly

Thessaloniki, Greece is listed under its nickname “Symprotévousa”

Constantinople is a former Roman name for Istanbul, not a separate city on the other side of the Bosphorus

C3

Athens, Greece is on the wrong peninsula

Sparta is not the capital of Greece (and is now romanized as Sparti)

“Gülen” isn’t a city in Turkey

“Atatürk” isn’t a city in Turkey

The island of Crete is listed as Malta

Rhodes, Greece is listed as an Italian territory

The Aegean sea is listed as “Aegon”

D1

The city listed as Murmansk is probably Dolgoschel’e (see C1)

Arkhangelsk is listed as “Mihail”

P.S. I have no idea what the original source of this map is. If you happen to know, please tell me!